i need a lawyer but have no money or very little. have a case with my sister taking custody of my son ...

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i need a lawyer but have no money or very little. have a case with my sister taking custody of my son

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DakotaLegal's picture

 

 
Even without a lawyer right now, there are things you should do to help protect your custody rights. Some of them may seem too hard, or even difficult: just stay focused on your child. Also keep in mind that whenever we talk about what you “need” to do, judges will have one basic question: “What’s in the best interests of the child?” The more these two things (your interest, and your child’s best interest) can be shown to over-lap, the better. There are going to be some big questions for you to answer…the better able you are to answer, the more likely you’ll be able to keep custody.
 
Before we go any further (there will be some low-cost legal services for you, listed in this advice), let’s do two things:
 


  1. give you a place to define the types of custody that exist in New York

http://www.brooklynvlp.org/wordpress/uploads/2009/03/nys-custody.pdf.
 
B. Learn more about how New York’s family and child services defines “at risk” kids under New York’s’ Article 6 law, for what’s called ‘alternative placement’ (out of your home): http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/publications/Pub5080.pdf.
 
Losing Custody. The most common way for someone to gain custody is for the other parent to give it up. This most often happens between family members. This means your situation is not uncommon, and this is a “good news, bad news” thing. Courts see it, so they know that sometimes it’s got as much to do with sisters not getting along as it should with a child’s safety and well-being. So the first assumption here is that at some time you were willing to let your sister either take care of your child full-time, or else she has been deeply involved before. At the same time, courts in New York are reluctant to end or even make it very hard for you, as a parent, to lose contact with kids: here’s a long article explaining what New York courts call “exceptional” circumstances to order a parent’s losing contact: http://ir.lawnet.fordham.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4614&context=flr.
 
The second assumption I’m making is that your sister has some legal reasons for saying she should have a chance at taking custody.
 

  • Big Question #1: Is the child currently living with you?

 
Many people go through tough times and let relatives raise kids. Other times, they move in with relatives, and then encounter friction. If the child is living with you, the odds are that you are in the best position to keep custody. If they are not living with you, then you must be able to show why the separation occurred. You must show an ability to improve your housing. But you also, unless there’s been some order depriving you of this right, have a right to custody of your child. Anyone interfering with that right (meaning, keeping you from seeing your child) may even be charged with a crime. Here’s a link to custody forms. One form is a habeas corpus, which you can use if your sister has taken your child. Your sister, by the way, may even be arrested if she has illegally taken your child. http://www.nycourts.gov/forms/familycourt/custodyvisitation.shtml. If you’re in fear from your sister, you should get a restraining order from a shelter: http://www.sanctuaryforfamilies.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=74&Itemid=103.
 

  • Big Question #2: Is the child emotionally and financially dependent on you?

 
The age of your child is very important. Judges may be reluctant to ask questions of a 12 year old, as far as preferences in where to live are concerned, but social workers and evaluators aren’t hesitant.
 
Avoid putting any pressure on the child as to preferences in where they want to live. One of the criteria for granting custody will be the ability to improve health family relationships. If your sister is going to win any type of custody from you, she’ll have to prove she won’t interfere with the healthiest possible relationship between you and your own child. You, on the other hand, don’t have an obligation to involve your sister.
 

  • Big Question #3: Can you solve any of the problems you’re facing in terms of parenting?

 
This includes with help, from social services. There are parenting classes, and you should be able to keep a journal (not an emotional diary, but just the facts) just to specify the facts of what classes you are talking to improve your ability to parent.
 
Keep receipts showing how you provide care. Apply for aid, including food stamps to show a case file with your existing custody. Keep notes, of whether there are specific cases of where the child is told negative things about you by her aunt.
 
If the child is actually in danger, this still does not mean your sister will get custody. In fact, many case workers assume a parenting problem is often shared by family members.
 
Legal Help. Do as much as you can with solving the problems we talked about already. The next problem is how to get legal help. Try these offices ASAP…
 
New York City:
http://www.legalservicesnyc.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=75
 
New York State:
http://www.lasnny.org/.
 
By being ‘proactive’ and helping yourself as much as possible, it also helps a lawyer to know the facts, simply and plainly, and you will be able to help give direct answers. Improving your ability to say, “Yes, I realize these problems, and this is exactly what I have done or am doing for my child.”

 

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DakotaLegal's picture

 

 
Even without a lawyer right now, there are things you should do to help protect your custody rights. Some of them may seem too hard, or even difficult: just stay focused on your child. Also keep in mind that whenever we talk about what you “need” to do, judges will have one basic question: “What’s in the best interests of the child?” The more these two things (your interest, and your child’s best interest) can be shown to over-lap, the better. There are going to be some big questions for you to answer…the better able you are to answer, the more likely you’ll be able to keep custody.
 
Before we go any further (there will be some low-cost legal services for you, listed in this advice), let’s do two things:
 


  1. give you a place to define the types of custody that exist in New York

http://www.brooklynvlp.org/wordpress/uploads/2009/03/nys-custody.pdf.
 
B. Learn more about how New York’s family and child services defines “at risk” kids under New York’s’ Article 6 law, for what’s called ‘alternative placement’ (out of your home): http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/publications/Pub5080.pdf.
 
Losing Custody. The most common way for someone to gain custody is for the other parent to give it up. This most often happens between family members. This means your situation is not uncommon, and this is a “good news, bad news” thing. Courts see it, so they know that sometimes it’s got as much to do with sisters not getting along as it should with a child’s safety and well-being. So the first assumption here is that at some time you were willing to let your sister either take care of your child full-time, or else she has been deeply involved before. At the same time, courts in New York are reluctant to end or even make it very hard for you, as a parent, to lose contact with kids: here’s a long article explaining what New York courts call “exceptional” circumstances to order a parent’s losing contact: http://ir.lawnet.fordham.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4614&context=flr.
 
The second assumption I’m making is that your sister has some legal reasons for saying she should have a chance at taking custody.
 

  • Big Question #1: Is the child currently living with you?

 
Many people go through tough times and let relatives raise kids. Other times, they move in with relatives, and then encounter friction. If the child is living with you, the odds are that you are in the best position to keep custody. If they are not living with you, then you must be able to show why the separation occurred. You must show an ability to improve your housing. But you also, unless there’s been some order depriving you of this right, have a right to custody of your child. Anyone interfering with that right (meaning, keeping you from seeing your child) may even be charged with a crime. Here’s a link to custody forms. One form is a habeas corpus, which you can use if your sister has taken your child. Your sister, by the way, may even be arrested if she has illegally taken your child. http://www.nycourts.gov/forms/familycourt/custodyvisitation.shtml. If you’re in fear from your sister, you should get a restraining order from a shelter: http://www.sanctuaryforfamilies.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=74&Itemid=103.
 

  • Big Question #2: Is the child emotionally and financially dependent on you?

 
The age of your child is very important. Judges may be reluctant to ask questions of a 12 year old, as far as preferences in where to live are concerned, but social workers and evaluators aren’t hesitant.
 
Avoid putting any pressure on the child as to preferences in where they want to live. One of the criteria for granting custody will be the ability to improve health family relationships. If your sister is going to win any type of custody from you, she’ll have to prove she won’t interfere with the healthiest possible relationship between you and your own child. You, on the other hand, don’t have an obligation to involve your sister.
 

  • Big Question #3: Can you solve any of the problems you’re facing in terms of parenting?

 
This includes with help, from social services. There are parenting classes, and you should be able to keep a journal (not an emotional diary, but just the facts) just to specify the facts of what classes you are talking to improve your ability to parent.
 
Keep receipts showing how you provide care. Apply for aid, including food stamps to show a case file with your existing custody. Keep notes, of whether there are specific cases of where the child is told negative things about you by her aunt.
 
If the child is actually in danger, this still does not mean your sister will get custody. In fact, many case workers assume a parenting problem is often shared by family members.
 
Legal Help. Do as much as you can with solving the problems we talked about already. The next problem is how to get legal help. Try these offices ASAP…
 
New York City:
http://www.legalservicesnyc.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=75
 
New York State:
http://www.lasnny.org/.
 
By being ‘proactive’ and helping yourself as much as possible, it also helps a lawyer to know the facts, simply and plainly, and you will be able to help give direct answers. Improving your ability to say, “Yes, I realize these problems, and this is exactly what I have done or am doing for my child.”